Mark Manson created a generation-defining self help book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*CK that is a refreshing look at how to embrace our fears, faults, and find the courage to lead a contented, grounded life.
►Not Giving a F*ck book: https://amzn.to/3MNs2h6
►The Audiobook: https://amzn.to/2VIYuZ2
Special thanks to:
Lewis Howes: https://www.youtube.com/@UCKsP3v2JeT2hWI_HzkxWiMA
Tom Bilyeu: https://www.youtube.com/@UCnYMOamNKLGVlJgRUbamveA
“100 years ago life was objectively worse. You were probably in a war or famine. But 100 years ago your purpose and meaning was clear – survival. Nowadays we have the first world problem of trying to create this meaning. We’ve traded physical struggle for psychological struggle.”
― Mark Manson
Read the book: https://amzn.to/3MNs2h6
Listen to the full interviews:
Lewis Howes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDEu6mhjIlw
Tom Bilyeu: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5m81Qsw0gLw
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►Special thanks to Robert Kiyosaki! Subscribe to his channel here: https://www.youtube.com/@TheRichDadChannel
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Things are gonna suck sometimes no Matter what you're never gonna avoid That one thing that I'm particularly Good at is I'm very good at like Changing my mind about things I don't Get too attached to aspects of my Identity I don't feel committed to like Oh this is how people see me so I need To behave that way I think I've been good throughout my Life of like being willing to look at Myself and be like well maybe I'm not an Author maybe I just like had a good book I'm very proud of that and it's Obviously a very important part of my Life but I don't necessarily see that as Who I am what do you see as who you are Or do you avoid that kind of statement I Avoid that statement interesting so that You don't get trapped yes I'm an author Right now and if that one day it stops Being useful being an author I will stop Being an author I think if I have a Talent personally I think it's just the Ability to kind of like swap labels Within my identity and I think being Able to observe myself do that is what Allowed me to write well about these Topics how do we make it easier for People to implement behavioral change Whether it's through apps whether it's Through video courses whatever that's Kind of like become the problem I'm like Zeroing in on at this stage of my career
What's more valuable to the world is Writing a book that affects a million People a little bit or ten thousand very Profoundly who's to say which one of Those two things is better or more Important more valuable so it's it's About finding a vision that can kind of Bring both of those things together it's About being realistic about who you are Where you are and then also having a Solid making a solid decision about like What is better in the world what is a Worthwhile Pursuit you know I do think There are ways to manipulate our level Of Desire or our level of motivation I Guess kind of the emotional aspect of Like feeling fired up about something I Think most people it's not hard for them To get fired up about something for a Few days it's once you get to like week Two that most people tap out I think People underestimate how influenced we Are by our surroundings and our Environment we all know we're capable of Doing so much more than we actually do But the only way you can really tap into That is to just over commit like just Over commit yourself and you just find a Way to do it We've developed a culture which this is One of those things that in many ways It's great But there's Some negative side effects that I don't
Think have completely sunk in but like We've developed a culture where it is Mainstream and widely okay to think About your own Mental Health First to Think about your own priorities you Think about your own happiness and Figure out what kind of life you want to Make and obviously that's a great thing In a vacuum but to your point the There's a there's kind of a hidden cost To that which is once you're given the Freedom and the opportunity to think Very deeply about your right who you're Going to be and how are you going to be Happy and how are you going to find Meaning in the world suddenly nothing is Given to you suddenly you have to kind Of conjure it out of thin air like the Way I describe this in subtle art was Like You know a hundred years ago life was Objectively worse like it sucked like You're probably a subsistence farmer Somewhere you're probably in a war or a Famine or depression but When you're living but a hundred years Ago it was always very very clear What your purpose was what the goal was What the meaning in your life was it was To survive you know don't get shot don't Get killed and grow enough food to feed Yourself and your family and so Everybody woke up every day knowing Exactly what they were going to do that
Day knowing exactly what had to be done Or or else the consequence was Potentially death and so I think a lot Of these existential questions that we Wrestle with in the 21st century of like Who am I why am I here what am I Supposed to be doing like these are Luxuries these are very very first world Problems and in in many ways we've we've Traded physical struggle for Psychological struggle like that is the Hidden cost of our Comforts and freedom That we've earned for ourselves over the Past five six Generations There's a strong argument that affecting 10 000 people very deeply is arguably More valuable contribution to the world Um and so I started thinking of things In that way and and and it just it took Me a long time to kind of Detach myself from that because it's I Think when you're starting out as a Writer and this is probably true with Podcasting everything it's like it's you You get it you love seeing the numbers Go up you know it's like every year the Number is higher than the year before And and it it feels good it motivates You you feel inspired you're like hell Yeah I'm growing I'm getting better And At some point though like once that Number gets high enough you gotta let go Of it you just you gotta let go of it
Because it's not sustainable once it's That high you know and it's it's you're Gonna run out of oxygen and uh And so it was a difficult process to Kind of get back to like okay I need to Write a book step one write a book I Love you know because when I started so This next book everything is I started out I was like all right you Know I gotta I gotta keep the train Going you know and so I I like started Trying to write stuff that you know I Thought subtle art readers were gonna Really love and um And yeah it just it felt very empty it Started to feel like like a job forced Yeah which I didn't become an author to Have a job I became an author so you Know I can do what I love and I I just Kept scrapping it I'm like no no no this Is this isn't going well and eventually I just get back to like okay I need to Write for myself first then once I have A book That I'm proud of that I think is great Then I can look at it and say like okay Like how can we you know maybe change This or Market this so that it'll sell a Lot of copies you know that's step two But step one it always has to be in a Creative process it always has to be About yourself first there is a certain Level of depth of meaning when you have Shared a decade with somebody and you
Been through the best times and the Worst times with that person you've had Joy with that person you've had pain and Fear with that person And you're still with them and they've Watched you grow through that and you've Watched them grow through that like that Is so rare and special and it is You can't replicate that in any other Way And Once that clicked for me that like wait A second this thing that I've been Spending All these years focusing so much on was Oversold to me was like over hyped Dating a bunch of people and hooking up With a bunch of hot girls and and Getting all that validation from that And this thing that most people complain About which is marriage is totally Undersold to me like the joy and the Meaning and the impact of like You know seeing my wife accomplish Something in her business that she's Been working three years towards and Watching her stress through it and Giving her support and giving her advice Like watching her succeed in that moment Like it's so much more impactful and Meaningful than like The best one-night stand I ever had like It's not even on the same you know You're like you're not even in the same
Territory when you compare those two Things that Revelation was like so Profound for me And and I'm a little bitter that like That message isn't like I started Wondering like where was this message When I was 20 right like because when I Was 20 the message was no dude you need To bang as many girls as possible and Never settle down and you know because That's like what a high status alpha Male does or you know whatever the the Thing was back then and and that was fun For a couple years but like it doesn't Serve you well long term I have Intentionally kind of been an advocate For classical Monogamy in marriage because I think it Is In this day and age it is underrated Um I'm a big proponent of just Vulnerability in general that applies Across the Spectrum so our private Relationships our public relationships Um professional relationships everything And Um the thing that that makes Vulnerability So important and so powerful is that it Uh it creates a transparency and a trust Between everybody involved Um you know when you're willing to Expose your weaknesses or at least be Honest about them
It it helps people know that you're Dependable