Tess Siegel – A Response to Those who Say I Write too Many Love Poems

Curated By Ralph

"The Road Not Taken" is a source of inspiration for me, because it encourages me to seize opportunities and chart my own course in life.

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In response to those who say
I write too many love poems. I write love poems
instead of suicide notes. I remind myself that I'm capable
of feeling more than hatred. I don't give death a voice today. I don't give sadness
the breath it needs to speak. I write a poem about your eyes
so that I won't cry. Sometimes distraction
is better than action. I write a love poem Instead of a list of things
that can kill me. I don't think about the knives
or the cars or the water. I don't think about the fucking water. I don't think about becoming
a ship lost at sea. I don't think about drowning, I don't think about the taste
of the bathwater in my mouth. I don't think about it filling up my lungs And stealing my breath. If anything is going
to take my breath away, I want it to be your smile. I don't care how stupid that sounds, Because instead of my own obituary, I write about you, Or her, Or him. I try to remember
what the good feels like. I… I write poems
filled with gooey words, And I let them stick to me. I let all this fluffy illusion
keep me warm Until I am cold no longer. I write love poems even on the days
my grief forms puddles at my feet. Like it's the only thing I can step into, Like it is the only thing
I can find my reflection in. I even wrote a love poem when you left me Because I will always choose
my heart breaking Over my heart not beating,

Over me not existing. I think I would rather feel everything
than nothing at all. This is not the easy choice, Because on too many days
I am simply living this fight myself. I never thought it would be
this hard to just be alive. So I have to give myself
something to live for. Maybe that's cliche,
but I think so far it has been working. See, I think most people
on this earth deserve a love poem, Deserve to be reminded
of what the good feels like. I think most people
never get their love poems, So I'll write them. Each one is survival. (cheers and applause)

Hey... I'm Jasper!

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