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Naomi Haag, performing at Park Square Theatre in Saint Paul, MN.
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I'll take why do I always fall in love And summer and get my heart broken and Fall for five hundred please Alex you Know cuz honestly it's kind of funny you Should see the amount of sad poetry I Have saved on Pinterest none of it is Even that good but it's all better than Anything I've written I'll take fast forward two years for 200 Alex because I can't wait to see who I'm Crying over then but here's the thing I Tell myself if I was able to love the Wrong person this deeply fully and Selflessly how great will my love be for The right person and I smile and then I Cry because what if this hypothetical Right person is just another Pinterest Poem I used to tell myself the right Person at the wrong time isn't the right Person but what is the right person at The right time because I was never good At math dichotomy for 100 what is you Were the joy and the sorrow of my life Metaphor for 200 I could simplify you to The sweat that makes my hair frizzy Crucifixion by jazz vocal standards or The divot on the left side of the second Cart from the top of any ferris wheel But here's the thing even though you Simplified me to a spark or not a spark I refuse to do the same to you next time You run away from something I hope you Fall and twist your ankle daily double Shot a vodka will you accept this
Unrequited love what is I think I'm Gonna puke what is I was in love with You correction what is I am how many Times do I have to drive past your exit On the highway before my nails stop Breaking am I expected to still focus Because that's a funny joke I am allowed To cry because it's over and smile Because it happened Pinterest you don't know what you've got Till it's gone but I knew what I had When I had it me and all the proverbial Pressure I come with will age like fine Wine I'll prick my finger and send you a Bottle for your wedding don't find the Love of your life too fast or I'll throw Up I want you to be happy but I don't Want to watch read my lips until your Eyes bleed I did nothing wrong I would Like to solve the puzzle but I am Missing a piece You [Applause]