Crystal Valentine – Catalogue of Ass

Curated By Ralph

"The Road Not Taken" is a source of inspiration for me, because it encourages me to seize opportunities and chart my own course in life.

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Crystal Valentine, performing at Park Square Theatre in Saint Paul, MN.

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We seek to showcase the power and diversity of voices in our community. By encouraging and broadcasting the best and brightest performance poets of today, we hope to broaden poetry’s audience, to expand its reach and develop a greater level of cultural appreciation for the art form.

One ass spilled out the frayed shorts, The skirt, the jeans. One ass cleared a whole path and jiggled When Juvenile blasted
through the speakers. One ass busted open on a handstand. (laughter) One ass stood patient, expectant,
waiting for instructions. One ass is small, Lands flat like a bad joke. One ass guided from its mama. One ass guided from a basement syringe. One ass took a yellow powdered pill That still didn’t work. One ass takes a long jog around the block. One ass wears a bonnet to sleep. One ass mows the lawn
while it waits for the mailman. One ass is still under construction. One ass lives in Europe, Floats in a glass jar. Children stand behind it, pointing. One ass wore white leggings to church. One ass wore a thong imprinted
with strawberry ice cream cones. One ass pinned a diamond stud
in each dimple. One ass practiced yoga. One ass balanced
a champagne glass on its face. One ass charged men $20. One ass is printed on a $20 bill. One ass lets… (chuckles) One ass lets them smack it purple
across the cheeks. One ass didn’t give permission
for the picture. One ass has a million followers. One ass gets followed a million times. One ass lures hands with vinegar. One ass is afraid of bus stops.

One ass carries a cement block. One ass leaves a trail of wasps. One ass takes itself off, Hangs nets to the fur in its closet. One ass built itself out
of brown paper maché. One ass got a three-hour special
on the Discovery Channel. (applause)

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